The depression had symptoms I can best describe as having a heavy heart, many sighs and the feeling of being unloved. Funnily enough, that made me feel somewhat better. The depression is a symptom of my situation not a cause.

That meant I was experiencing reactive depression. I caught an episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show and found out my depression was reactive to my circumstances. In turn that meant I was watching more television. In time, I found myself spending more time at home. Naturally, while this was occurring in my life, the depression deepened. As time went on I felt a greater need to return to my sanctuary, which was my home, where I could “re-charge” my batteries ready for the next trip outdoors.

Being like this in public was exhausting. I felt wary of how others were responding to my presence, so, I had my guard up all the time. It wasn’t until later on, I began to realise a number of things about myself. In fact everything in that way seemed OK at least for the time being. In that sense I didn’t feel affected in any shape or form. I travelled near and far to see friends routinely. I still took myself out to the pub to socialise, on my own as usual. It was driving down my emotions and moods. The world seemed less bright there was a lot of negativity around, not just from me, but others about me. Everything about my life and environment seemed to continue as normal. Whenever I spoke on the phone to family, it was in a monotone voice. Living on my own as I do, you get used to feeling a certain way and you don’t always register what those moods are when you are in them. I realise that probably doesn’t make sense. I know because my mother told me that is where I was.

Psychologically, I faced great challenges, which I then had to deal with. For several years I suffered with acne in its most extreme form on the face only. My name is Karen Thomas and I appeared on the documentary “The Unluckiest Faces in Britain” in 2003 on ITV1.

Thomas and friends many moods thomas